It was 40 years ago today…

… that I first had sex with a man in a bed.

I’d had sex with men before, generally in sleazy cruising spots that were really the only option available to a queer teenager in North Carolina at the time, but I’d never gone home with someone and done it in a nice respectable apartment with a nice respectable bedroom.

I was 17 years old and was coming out with a vengeance. We met, as was the custom at the time among those of us too young for bars, at a tearoom at Four Seasons Mall. He was 23 and was (I swear) in a fraternity at UNC Greensboro. His apartment was actually just a couple of blocks from my house. I don’t remember a lot about the sex, but it was an important moment for me because of the location and because I actually had time to talk to the guy for a while. It’s one of the first times that ever happened for me, actually conversing with a fellow sodomite.

This encounter obviously made a big impression on me as I’ve never forgotten the date, and as I kept having sex with other men (many, many other men) over the years. I’ve seen many apartments and had many conversations. I even picked up another member of that same fraternity a couple of years later, quite by accident.

I’m happy to say that I don’t do frat boys or tearooms anymore, but I do still have sex on occasion. It usually happens in a bed now with someone I already know, so that part of the novelty has worn off.



One thought on “It was 40 years ago today…

  1. I’ve got a few years on you, but only a few. For me it was January 1977 in my dorm room at the University of Arizona in Tucson. His name was John McGuire. We were both freshmen and new members of GSA (Gay Student Alliance) as well as “The Gay Table” at Louie’s Lower Level, a bistro in the basement of the Student Union. John wasn’t my “type” by any means, but we were friendly, and when we both admitted to being virgins, he asked if I wanted to do something about it.

    Needless to say, it was an unmitigated disaster. Awkward mutual masturbation and equally awkward conversations in the days that followed. Thankfully I hooked up with another regular at “The Table” a few weeks later and learned exactly how gay sex was supposed to be. He left me with my first and only case of mono, but it was worth it…

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