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August 1999

Birthday Season

Please add three years to the cake above for accuracy. And for those of you who are interested, my semi-public birthday gathering is now officially scheduled.

Seems birthday season is here. Tonight, I celebrated my ex-roomie’s birthday with 11 friends and acquaintances at El Trebol on 24th Street in the Mission. I almost hesitated to mention the name of the place, as it was also a Best of the Bay winner last week. While getting one of these awards last year didn’t ruin Planet SOMA, a restaurant is a far more fragile thing.

Great dinner. Great cake. And I get to go to sleep secure in the knowledge that Dan is (and will always be) eight days older than me.

Things I love this week:

  • Birthday presents from Duncan and Patric (one of them being the White Castle book, so scratch that from the list)
  • WKRP in Cincinatti
  • Bumblebee Tuna for 60 cents a can at Lucky
  • The fog
  • The new living room couch I’ll have this weekend. Finally.

6 August 1999

I guess it’s time to flip my office calendar over to August now. For six days, I’ve been looking at the mini-month in the corner rather than actually standing up and turning the page.

So it seems that, just as the nasty funk of the past month or so is starting to lift (maybe), I’m now coming down with a cold. Fine. I give up. I’m just going to sit in a corner with Irma and pout until the rainy season arrives. The hell with everything.

Don’t worry, though. I’ll still sneak out for Tuesday’s birthday non-event. But right now, all I want to do is go to bed, read my new White Castle book for a while, and then sleep for a very long time.

While I’m asleep, I will not think about the following:

  • My long-term financial, geographic, or mental status.
  • The fact that there will not be one single candidate worth considering in this year’s mayoral election and that we’ll therefore be stuck with Emperor Willie for four more years.
  • The diseased lung I looked at while working on (irony of ironies) an anti-smoking website last night.
  • Sex (or lack thereof).
  • The asshole next door who has this tendency to work on his ugly orange convertible right outside my office window at all hours of the day and night.
  • Ways to keep that miserable orange convertible from ever bothering me again.

Not in on the Joke

Did you ever get the feeling there was some sort of running gag and that YOU were the punchline? I’ve decided that’s how I feel in most social situations, particularly those involving he-faggots.

I know it’s not really true. I realize that most people at the average bar, party, or whatever don’t give a rat’s ass about me one way or the other. But I still feel that everyone’s looking at me or laughing at me or thinking “what a putz”. The feeling’s usally much more prevalent in queer bars, but it can happen anywhere.

Never having really been the sociable sort (despite some valiant charades), I think I’ve never become really comfortable with the idea that any group of people might actually want me to be a part of it. Of course, it all goes back to junior high and self-esteem issues (insert appropriate psychobabble here), but you’d think I might have gotten past it by now.

Of course, there are benefits. When Mr. Right shows up in a bar, I’m usually not surrounded by an impenetrable entourage. I’ve also managed to forge a certain appealing aloofness out of this particular neurosis. Or so I’ve convinced myself…

All the same, though, it might be nice to wander up to a group of acquaintances without feeling I was butting in and being barely tolerated. I also get the same feeling almost any time I have to call someone the phone, oddly enough. It’s a feeling I’ve been having weekly (or more) for almost twenty years now, and I think I’m ready to be rid of it.

Tad’s Steak House

By Sarah Grove

This review originally appeared on schismatic.com.

Tad's

I love Tad’s. When I know that I’ll be meeting David, Dan, and Brad at Tad’s after work for a $10 steak dinner, I look forward to it all day. I’ll park the car at home and then scurry on down to Union Square on foot, all the way dodging the Financial District automatons heading home to the Marina.

I see the guys outside on the sidewalk in front of Tad’s, dragging on cigarettes, because even at Tad’s, you can’t smoke inside. The fog is rolling in and the tourists dressed in shorts stand in the middle of the sidewalk, maps unfurled, debating on whether they should hop into Tad’s or hit the trendy, white-wine sipping Kuleto’s up the street to take shelter from San Francisco’s cold summer nights.

Tad’s screams “Old San Francisco for the Locals.” The menu is a simple, large white poster with black lettering hanging in the front window (next to the rotisserie) and again right inside the doorway. Steaks, chicken, hamburger steak, grilled cheese, grilled ham & cheese, eggs and toast and omelettes for breakfast.

Tad's
The view from the ordering line. i love it.

Tad's
A good cut of steak and all the steak sauces and condiments you could ask for.

Grab your gray tray with the “Tad’s Steaks” personalization, and don’t forget your silverware and napkin. We always order the steak special for $8.95. Add a soda and the whole shebang comes to $10.41 including 8.5% tax. You have to wait in line while your food’s being cooked and your salad and drinks assembled, which gives you ample time to hang out and chat up the cooks and assistant managers. You just might hear about what Mayor Willie Brown or the local celebs are up to. These white-coated fellows behind the counter are good people. The owner and his managers have been running the place for over 40 years.

By now you’ve noticed the blue walls and orange-and-black velvet wallpaper. Tad’s is not a seen-and-be-seen trendy place. It’s where unpretentious people come to eat unpretentious food in a very human surrounding. Look around, and the people at the adjacent tables are enjoying their food, talking, laughing, and looking very happy to be there.

Give a little, and you will get much in return. On our last visit, when we had learned that Tad’s was not going to be sold and “updated” (horrors), as had been rumored, we ended up talking with Tad’s owner for some time, just catching him to chat as he strolled through the dining room, leaning on his cane. We told him how happy we were to hear that Tad’s was going to stay just the way it is, and he gave us a carafe of red wine in appreciation. The wine’s from a jug, but who cares? We drank in the spirit of fun and happiness and sharing a little bit of San Francisco which in these days of gentrification seems to be gone forever.

After our T-bone, huge baked potato with lots of butter, a hefty slice of garlic toast, and salad (eat the chickpeas and deal with it) — all of which are included in the Tad’s Steak Special — we go back for Boston Cream pie. Or maybe lemon meringue. We really don’t want to leave, even though we’ll be full until past breakfast time. Tad’s just makes us feel happy. There’s good, inexpensive food, quickly fixed how you want it, with no snooty waiters, high prices, or bad service to ruin your evening.

And no Beautiful People screeching into their cell phones and teetering on high heels. I tuck into my pie, pull my sweatshirt closer around me, and continue my conversation with my companions, making connections after a hard day’s work. Later we’ll all venture home in the fog, heading in different directions, but our confab at Tad’s has been a most wonderful capper to that routine day at the office.

Tad’s Steak House, 120 Powell Street, San Francisco CA, 415-982-1718

The Tad’s Photo Gallery: cook at work, david mulling the angels, that wallpaper, and anticipation at the silverware rack:

Tad's

Tad's

Tad's

Tad's

Tad's

9 August 1999


Four or five stories above the crest of Nob Hill. Photo credit Sarah.

My mom has email.

Somehow I knew this day would come, but I’m not sure if I’m ready for it. This must be sort of how it felt for her when I learned to drive. OK, maybe not quite that extreme. Of course, the big and pressing question is how she’ll deal with this site when she lands here. It’s not like I do drugs or deal in kiddie porn or anything, but the self-revelation (and the language) might be a bit much. All in all, though, Mom’s pretty sane. I think she’ll deal.

More about the weekend soon (as Sarah has the first crack at posting certain pictures of certain celebrities), but here are the highlights:

I spent Friday afternoon doing recreational web browsing, which is something I almost never do anymore. In the process, I found current pictures of one of my high school lust victims as well as re-connecting with an old friend from college. I also ran across names of members of my family on someone’s geneaology page. That was a little creepy. And no, I’m not giving you the addresses. So there.

Saturday afternoon brought a Star Trek convention (more about that later) and a strange case of lust, which I’m still at loss to explain so I won’t right now. Thus I ventured out to the neighborhood watering holes Saturday night, which proved as much of a mistake as going out on Saturday night ever is.

Now it’s Sunday. I’m watching something really stupid on the Disney Channel. It’s time for bed. More babbling of substance, along with accompanying pictures, coming soon.

Thoughts on Reaching Age 35

 

So it seems I’m now 35 years old. It’s supposed to be a very good year for blue-blooded girls of independent means. But I’m still chasing after blue-haired boys of questionable means. That’s OK. I’m comfortable with the fact that Frank Sinatra might not approve of my life.

Thoughts on the day:

  • I can now run for president, which is a nice irony on the 25th anniversary of Nixon’s resignation.
  • I think I’ve jumped into a new Nielsen demographic. I’m now only allowed to watch CBS.
  • I’ve now lived half the life the Bible guarantees. I’m not sure if this is a money-back guarantee. If I live longer than 70 years, do I have to pay more?
  • The only two famous people who share my birthday are Rosanna Arquette (5 years older) and Herbert Hoover (35 years deader). No major truths can be gained from this fact.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to seeing anyone who dares show up tonight. And thanks for all the good wishes, etc.

The Birthday Bash

Interesting idea, huh? I turn 35, have dinner at a classy dive on Powell Street, and invite all comers. It’s the sort of thing which could be either truly creepy or tons of fun. Of course, the fact that it was both self-obsessed and self-indulgent rather goes without saying.

I really didn’t think many people would show up. It was windy and foggy. It was a Tuesday. It was scheduled for a great but little-known restaurant on a block few locals ever visit. But people came! Thirteen to be precise, four of whom I’d never even met before. It was pretty damned cool and not creepy at all.

As I waited out front with Sarah, in an effort to make sure my blood’s nicotine level was in the acceptable range, people showed up one by one, and we all waited patiently in line for din-din, since (of course) there was a long line at Tad’s for the first time in recent memory.

We pretty much gravitated to the exclusive upper room, where one feels much more intimately connected to the red velvet wallpaper, as most of the downstairs tables were taken. It’s just different upstairs: no naked cherub light fixtures nor serving line noise. It’s also hotter than hell.

Sarah and Brad were there, as were Grant, Barry, and Trixie. Mark and Eugene and David, Spike and Becky and Jamie (who managed to find her way here even without email) all joined in the carnivorous delight. Tim dropped in to say hello. And at the and of the table sat the keeper of my favorite website, who I dared not photograph.

The grand total: four domain names, ten boys, three girls, three Okies, two reformed Southern Californians, five reformed Southerners (depending on how you count), four reformed Midwesterners (depending on how you count), and lots of random chick peas on the vinyl tablecloth.

And I got presents. I wasn’t supposed to get presents. I’m not complaining. Not when I have Count Chocula handed to me with a bow on it. Nor will I complain about festive and colorful iced tea glasses with cool fruit ice cube thingies (which probably have a better name) nor even the Elmo alarm clock which now wakes me with teh theme from Sesame Street. Nope…no complaints at all…

After dinner, the remaining eleven of us made the leisurely stroll down Geary to David’s Deli for dessert. The hostess (no doubt sensing what was afoot) emptied the Celebrity Room of old people before seating us there. Everyone sang to me and requested a speech. Everyone soon realized that I’m much better with a keyboard than a mouth.

I drank coffee. David’s is one of the few places I do this, mainly beacuse when you order coffee here, they don’t ask “what kind?”. This choice of caffeine at 10PM would later haunt me.

After desert, five brave souls remained for the walk to Hole in the Wall at Eighth and Folsom, where I was kept out way past my bedtime. This would explain why it took me two days to post these pictures.

All I can say is thanks. It was great. Everyone seemed to enjoy it. People talked and mingled and everything, more so it seemed than even at most “traditional” parties. And not a single business card was exchanged.

There will be a repeat performance. The Tonga Room comes to mind. It should at least be photogenic…

13 August 1999


Different day, different David…

So the site needed a little sex appeal and my ugly mug wasn’t providing it. Therefore I’ve decided to feature a different David on the front page for a day or so. I think he’s an improvement. Besides, he took a good number of my birthday pictures Tuesday night, so I felt I owed him.

The big question today is whether to leave town for the weekend or use my freebie pass and check out Feast on Friday night. I need to get out of town in a major way. But it might also be nice to see if there’s any hope left for San Francisco’s sex clubs in the current homogenized era.

Speaking of homogenized, does anyone else find those new Gap ads (with the vacant-eyed youngsters mumbling the lyrics to “Dress You Up” by Madonna) to be one of the creepiest things you’ve seen on TV lately? What exactly did they put in the Kool-Aid at that shoot?

Is it the same stuff they sell in all those juice bars on Castro Street?

Road Trip Lite

I sort of left town. I just didn’t spend the night anyplace. So I still haven’t slept anyplace other than San Francisco since January. That’s absolutely terrifying. Next weekend for sure. Fresno calls…

As for this weekend, I pretended I wasn’t in San Francisco by lurking in the Outer Mission on Friday afternoon. I took a lot of pictures. I had lunch at the Chick-N-Coop Hoffbrau, which is a story in itself, soon to be told. And then I explored Pacifica some more. I keep thinking that there’s some excting part of Pacifica I haven’t yet discovered, and I keep being disappointed.

Today, I made one of my “huge circle” day trips, from San Francisco to Tracy to Stockton and Lodi to Sacramento and home again by way of Fairfield. This was mostly a thrift-shopping and picture-taking excursion than anything else. Final score: one very ugly shirt, two commemorative plates (Oklahoma City and Nebraska), and four very turquoise dishes. All for under ten bucks.

The best part, of course, was dinner at the Chick-Fil-A in Fairfield.

Other memorable moments:

  • The old guy in the Cadillac in Tracy who opened his door to reveal he was listening to ZZ Top at the loudest possible volume.
  • The new road in Sacramento which connects Arden Way and Garden Highway. In a brilliant move, it’s been named “Arden Garden”.
  • That hot dog from the AM-PM in Galt. I’ll be remembering it for days…

I may expand this day trip later, but right now I’m going to bed. I may drag my ass out early and do another one tomorrow…

Happy Birthday, Dad

Happy Birthday, Dad…

No, he probably won’t see it, since my Mom is still learning the ins and outs of accessing the web. But I thought it was a pretty cool “concept shot”. I have one of my Mom too. She’s standing under a sign which reads “motherhood”. A maternity store, I think. Shortly after we took these last January, mall security told us we had to stop taking pictures. We were so ashamed. Really…

My Dad’s birthday: another family event expedited by Federal Express. When my parents send me presents, they use regular mail. They plan ahead.

Things I love this week:

  • Fresca
  • Rosemary’s Baby
  • Chick-Fil-A sandwiches, which are even better after two days in the refrigerator.
  • Joe Orton