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July 2004

Individualism?

A note to certain of my co-workers: if working for a large corporation so offends your sense of ethics that it becomes the only thing you can talk about — or think about — all day, do you maybe need to ask yourself at some point why you continue to accept that tainted paycheck every week instead of just moving along and doing something else?

It’s just a thought…

Yes, like many San Francisco residents, I work with a number of annoying anarchists. Actually, they’d probably be more inclined to refer to themselves as “individualists” or “non-conformists”. Evidently, individualism is defined by a need to recite recycled dogma on an hourly basis and to have as many tattoos and vaguely repulsive piercings as possible, while non-conformity means ignoring rules just because they’re rules and questioning all authority just because it’s authority.

Mind you, despite this focus on the individual, there is a community focus too. It usually seems to involves parking one’s obligatory, non-polluting, non-conformist bicycle in a narrow passageway INSIDE the office so as to make it more visible to the less-evolved (who take the bus), not to mention to create as much of a safety hazard as possible to anyone who might damage himself on its protruding handlebars. Like me. At least once a week…

I keep reminding myself that they’re young, idealistic poseurs who will eventually grow up and get slightly less annoying. But they probably won’t, particularly here in the insulating womb of San Francisco, where non-conformity is a fashion statement and individuality is rewarded (tolerated) only when it poses no threat to — nor asks any questions of — “the community”…

Birthday Spankin’

Yesterday on Mark‘s birthday, I joked that it was almost time for his spanking, and he had no idea what I was talking about. He was completely unfamiliar with the concept of kids getting one playful birthday whack on the butt for every year followed by “one to grow on”…

Now I’m wondering if it’s a generational of geographic gap. Was this a Southern tradition or just an old one that has since — mercifully, perhaps — gone away?

The Silliest Place on Earth

Maybe this should be the first entry at The Silliest Place on Earth™, but I’m not up and running with that site yet:

In San Francisco, the maximum legal time limit for parking on an otherwise unmarked street is 72 hours. However, “special event” signs, which warn that you may be towed if you don’t move your car by a certain time, need only be posted 24 hours in advance. Does this sound like a bit of a contradiction? You’re allowed to park for 72 hours. Except when you aren’t allowed to. And you only get 24 hours notice that you’re not allowed to…

In other words, your legally-parked car can be legally towed, and you get the privilege of paying a couple hundred bucks for the whole experience just because you parked legally on a street in San Francisco…

I’d offer some citations, but — of course — the website which houses the city’s traffic code doesn’t work. Rather like the whole city government…

I hate this city…

My Thyroid Is Dead

It was three years ago today that I emerged from my first (very unexpected) trip to the hospital, in which I learned that the hyperthyroidism I hadn’t known I had was throwing my heart into major turmoil. To say that I was scared shitless would be a significant understatement…

Three years in, I no longer have to inject myself in the stomach with mucous from pig intestines (that lasted a week), I no longer lie in bed paralyzed with fear that I’m going to die before morning (which only happened a few times), and I’ve come to realize that I’m going to be just fine, thanks, even if I do have to take certain pills the rest of my life…

That said, I’d like to announce that the aforementioned thyroid gland has this week been pronounced — with about 90-95% certainty — dead. Thanks to the fine folks at the unfortunately named Department of Nuclear Medicine at CPMC. I shan’t miss the little bastard…

Resistance Is Futile

Has anyone else heard those PBS bumpers which say “we are PBS…” and just sort of paused there a couple of seconds waiting for the announcer to add “you will be assimilated…”?

Just curious…

Superlatives

This week’s superlatives:

  • Most stupid comment I’ve heard on the news: “Authorities are wondering if a recent murder could have been prevented.” Just my own bias, I guess, but I thought that ALL murders were, by definition, preventable…
  • Most stupid comment I’ve read in the paper, from a column on the dangers of pit bulls: “The human community has been in denial for 20 years.” The HUMAN COMMUNITY??? Couldn’t we have gotten some couterpoint from, say, the attack dog community or the flea community? Jeez…
  • Most stupid feature I’ve read about in the new version of Microsoft Word for Mac: a much easier method for inserting movies. Do people really need to add movies to word processing documents all that frequently? I don’t get it…
  • Most strangely appealing song I’d almost forgotten but heard on Flashback Alternatives: “Heaven (Must Be There)” by Eurogliders
  • Best accidental find on the DVR: the Addams Family episode of The New Scooby Doo Movies on Boomerang Sunday morning…

The Wal-Mart Cometh

Why yes, despite what you read — and despite what people in the Bay Area seem pre-programmed to believe — there are actually places where people (and local businesses) are HAPPY to see Wal-Mart coming. Knowing this part of my hometown as I do, I don’t think this will be quite the cure-all it’s made out to be, but neither do I see it as particularly damaging…

Speaking of huge chains, we had dinner at Ikea last night. As many negative things as I’ve had to say about the place over the years, our last couple of visits haven’t been nearly as horrible as earlier ones. And you gotta love anyplace that can feed the two of us so completely for fifteen bucks…

Randomly Friday

The Geek Shall Inherit the Earth:

Ah, those useless obsessions which have fascinated me since I was a kid. I wonder if anyone can tell me what the following cities have in common:

  • Huntsville AL
  • Bakersfield CA
  • Fresno CA
  • Peoria IL
  • Fort Wayne IN
  • South Bend IN
  • Springfield MA
  • Elmira NY
  • Youngstown OH
  • Scranton/Wikes-Barre PA

Put your guesses on the Message Board if you like. I’ll post the answer in a day or two…

It’s My Hormones, Really…

I’ve decided that menopause must feel an awful lot like going from being severely hyperthyroid to being severely hypothyroid in a very short period of time. And I have a bit more respect for all women of a certain age at this point. For the past two weeks, I’ve felt an awful lot like Edith Bunker in that episode from “All in the Family”. I think it may be starting to even out some. I hope so. At least I’m sleeping like a baby…

Did I mention that I’m married to the the most wonderful boy in the world?

Technology Sucks:

The Dish DVR has already crashed, taking with it about thirty epsiodes of “The Addams Family” which Mark hadn’t yet dubbed to DVD, not to mention a Cure special and a couple of “Fillmore” episodes which would have completed my collection. It’s the power supply, I’m told. Of course, there will be no effort by them to recover the data on the hard drive — not to mention a stiff penalty for us if we try it ourselves. We’re in a “replace, don’t repair” world these days, after all…

On the Radio

Twenty-two years ago tonight, at approximately this time (11:40 PM EDT), I was sitting in a little room on the third floor of Elliott University Center waiting for a stupid baseball game to end so I could be on the radio for the very first time…

Some days (years?) I miss it more than others. This is one of those times when I miss it a lot, perhaps because I’m scheduled to start my midlife crisis by turning 40 in just three weeks or so. Maybe I’ll start me one of them there internet radio stations one of these days…