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2006

Dreams: Cyndi’s News

This week has been really insane, and I needed a little break. Last night, I went on a group tour of a museum with Mark and my grandmother. We got a little annoyed at my grandmother for insisting on coming along, since she can barely walk and the tour involved lots of stairs. We missed half the tour waiting for her. The museum was fun, though.

When the tour was over, we all landed in a giant reception room where a huge crowd of people was watching the local news from San Francisco on a widescreen TV. Cyndi Lauper came on to do her nightly report, which she sings. We all enjoyed it, and then finished our drinks and went home.

Then I woke up.

What Local Standards?

I should think that almost everyone from squishy granolas to staunch defenders of private property would find this pretty horrifying. If the real goal here is to “prevent overcrowding”, wouldn’t it be more effective to limit the number of occupants per room rather than to legislate the types of relationships permitted among the occupants?

Local standards my ass.

Stress

I can’t tell if (a) I’m a great big ball of stress because we’re finally closing on the house tomorrow morning, or (b) I’m just out of sorts because my allergies are bugging me something fierce and I didn’t sleep well last night. Whatever the reason, my head hurts, I’m irritable as hell, and I can’t seem to concentrate at all.

Either way, though, I’ll be a homeowner the next time you hear from me. Anyone want to help us move?

Sniff

I’m not sure whether or not it makes me feel better that I’m not alone in the Great Allergy Agony of 2006. I’ve had this same stuffiness, headcahe, and general miserableness (it just sounds worse than “misery”) for the better part of two months now.

I think the big problem this year is that it simply will not fucking rain. We’re at about 50% of normal rainfall for the year right now, which means that we’re about eight inches short (no jokes, please) and also means that the air is damned near unbreathable.

Just imagine how lousy I’d feel if I ever went outside.

One Year Removed from SF

It was a year ago today that we escaped San Francisco. I’ve never once questioned my decision to leave, and I’ve never pondered moving back, not even for a second. I love my boy, I love our new home, and I’m pretty happy with life in general, despite some pretty major bumps in the past few months.

I’d started a longer essay the subject of this one-year anniversary, but it was showing signs of deteriorating into yet another tirade against San Francisco, and I really don’t need to do another one of those. Yes, I was miserable and despised the place my last few years there, and yes, I felt that no matter how hard we worked, our situation was never really going to improve as long as we remained. Ultimately, though, I did have a number of enjoyable years in San Francisco. It’s just that my needs changed over the years, and San Francisco no longer met them. So I left. I’m quite happy where I am now.

In fact, all you really need to do is compare the photo above, from 2005, with the one below, from tonight. Even our boxes are neater and tidier and more organized now that we’ve left San Francisco.

It’s hard to believe a whole year has passed since the escape, though. It seems like we just moved into this place, and now I’m packing everything again. A decade or two down the road, I think this past year will seem vaguely surreal in retrospect, like an extended stay at some strange motel in the twilight zone. When I was driving through Winston-Salem last night after dinner, though, it just felt like I’d finally landed in the right place after many, many years.

Randonly Tuesday

Interestingly enough — and despite all the time I’ve spent packing and moving lately — I’ve written several new rants in the past few days. I just haven’t posted any of them yet. Two of the pieces don’t feel quite “ready”, while the third may be just a bit more personal than I really want it to be. They’re pretty good, though. I’ll keep you posted.

The move is coming along very nicely, and by next Sunday, we’ll no longer be spending much time here in rapidly-ghettoizing east Charlotte. For those who care, we actually live in southeast Charlotte, but since the whole city is set at a 45° angle to reality, we have to pretend we live due east in order for the street names to work correctly. This is very frustrating to Geography majors, by the way.

Other frustrations and irritations du jour:

  • Summer, with its attendant increases in temperature and number of children who must be kicked out of the way in all public places.
  • The most useless new comic strip of the year, which (like another recent winner loser) seems to have suddenly appeared in every newspaper in America all at once for no good reason.
  • People who go to great lengths to pass me on the freeway, and then don’t do so, but instead cruise along in my blind spot for the next ten miles moving at exactly the same rate of speed as me.
  • Sundays, when all of those people seem to hanging out on I-85 around Salisbury.
  • Knowing that I have a great house 70 miles away, yet having to continue living in a rapidly ghettoizing and increasingly noisy apartment complex for another week.

Sorry. It was a pretty lackluster list. I’ll try to do better next time.

6.6.6

Since there has been some speculation that the second coming may occur today, I’ve decided to do my part to make certain that it does, at least for me. Therefore, I will be making a point of masturbating twice today, thus facilitating my own second coming. I may even go for a third.

I urge you to join me.

Even if not necessarily in person.

Devout Department Stores

Today’s addition to the “stupidity reigns in American retailing” pile involves department store chain Boscov’s being sued for religious discrimination by two Christians, two Wiccans and a pagan after canceling religion classes it had planned to teach.

Why on earth would a department store chain have any interest whatsoever in teaching any sort of religion class? Legal implications aside, what the heck does it have to do with selling merchandise?