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2005 US Tour

Houston to New Orleans

   

We left Houston, went through Beaumont, and finally — after four days and 900-plus miles — we escaped Texas. We determined that Exit 880 off I-110 is probably the highest-numbered interstate highway exit in the country. Even I-5 in California, which goes from the Mexican border to the Oregon state line, only makes it to Exit 796…

Of course, our Texas car trouble paranoia was replaced by Louisiana state trooper paranoia. We’d both heard for years about how they look for any excuse to pull over cars with California plates here; there have even been news stories on the phenomenon. So we didn’t speed. We stayed at least 1MPH below the limit even as cars passed us, cursing all the way. And we had no problems…

We have no problems with TROOPERS, I should say. The roads were a different story. These were some of the most godwaful freeways I’ve ever driven, with undulating waves of bumps which threatened repeatedly to send the car airborne. Say what you like about the mechanics of building of sinking soil, but both Texas and Mississippi seem to have discovered a technique Louisiana never read about. It was hell…

Settled for lunch at a KFC next to a Wal-Mart (where we bought a pillow) in Lafayette…

 

We arrived with just enough time to unload, shower, change, and drive into New Orleans for Poppy Z. Brite’s Prime Dinner at Marisol, around which much of our trip had been scheduled. It was a great place and a nice dinner (even the calf’s brains and sweetbreads weren’t nauseating like I expected) and it was nice to be recognized. The only mildly uncomfortable moment was when we apparently freaked out the entire restaurant by informing our server that we don’t drink and thus would be skipping the wine…

After dinner, we drove around just a bit, being careful to avoid scary neighborhoods like the one we drove in through, and I got to see the oldest continuously-operating A&P store in the country…

New Orleans to Montgomery

   

We slept. A lot. The big dinner and the stress of the past few days had taken their toll…

We had lunch at Piccadilly and headed for New Orleans again. We’d planned to spend several nights here, but shelved that idea in Fredericksburg, so we only made a quick drive-through before heading out the Chef Menteur Highway toward Mississippi in a valiant effort to avoid the shitty freeway. We ended up taking the scenic route up US 90 all the way to Biloxi before moving back to the freeway. It was at about this point that the landscape really started looking like home to me…

Dinner was at a lovely spot called the Creek Family Restaurant in Atmore AL. Imagine listening to a country remake of “Take a Letter Maria” and eating bad catfish and onion rings with a side of something which may have been either yams or carrots, served by a surly waitress who apparently woke up that morning and realized “I have to spend the rest of my life in Atmore, Alabama, and that sucks so much that I’m going to take it out on every customer I see all day.” That was dinner…

We detoured briefly into Florida near Atmore, just so Mark could say he had, and in the process he also got to visit his first Piggly Wiggly. We made it into Montgomery pretty late…

Montgomery to Greensboro

   

We had breakfast at Waffle House, where we were served by a big ol’ sissy who tried to clock these two guys traveling together from California. We offered neither confirmations nor denials, which probably frustrated him no end…

We looked around downtown briefly and saw the state capitol and an old Kress store which probably had at least some civil rights significance. And then we left for Atlanta, where we had to make an emergency stop so I could do some short-notice work for a client in Charlotte. We decided this would be a good excuse for another dinner at another Piccadilly

 

And then, we started the last leg, to my parents’ house in Greensboro. We rolled in after midnight, and the trip was pretty much done. It had been rather a long and exhausting one…