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Dudez

Why does it annoy me so much when complete strangers email me and call me “dude”? Probably has something to do with the fact that I’m neither a surfer, a stoner, nor a drunk frat boy…

And why do faggot video pornographers get that whole skater thing so dreadfully wrong? A couple of tips: real skaters do not refer to each other as “skater boys” nor “skater punks”, they do not generally look and dress like circuit clones (nor like a spandex version of the woman in Flashdance), and they generally don’t hold bladers in very high regard…

Of course, they don’t generally fuck each other like rabbits in heat either, so I guess you have to draw the line somewhere. But what’s with this sodomite tendency to turn everything real into a bland, cutesy, cartoon version of itself? Witness the Castro…

That’s more than I was really going to type on this, my day for pretending I don’t have a computer, but I just got started and I couldn’t stop…

My World, 1980

When I was a kid, my orbit wasn’t very large. Within a mile or so of my house was just about everything I needed: the record store, the supermarket where my mom caught me buying beer when I was 15, my high school, and the mall, where sex, drugs, and rock and roll were always available…

I’ve always been glad I didn’t grow up in the hardcore suburbs, where you have to go two or three miles just to find a convenience store. How do kids without cars manage areas like that? I’d hate it even as an adult who HAS a car…

That’s one really great thing about San Francisco: if you don’t want to drive, you really don’t have to. In fact, it’s very often better NOT to drive here. Except for the occasional Safeway run, the purpose for having a car in the city is to get the hell out of it, not to navigate within it…

Which is a lesson an awful lot of people need to learn…

Number One

Wanna feel old? “Bette Davis Eyes” by Kim Carnes was the number one song in America twenty years ago this week. Pretty horrifying, huh?

While I’m at it, note that the Beatles were at number one this Memorial Day weekend in 1964 (“Love Me Do”) and 1969 (“Get Back”), Ray Stevens was at the top in 1970 (“Everything IS Beautiful”) and 1974 (“The Streak”), and George Micheal and/or Wham hit in 1985 (“Everyting She Wants”) and 1988 (“One More Try”).

And to think I learned all this while taking a crap. It’s always a good thing to have entertaining bathroom books.

Weekend Superlatives

Best way to kill off the better part of a Saturday: Thrift stores in Sacramento with Jamie, accompanied by copious amounts of Black Sabbath and Ozzy Osbourne on the radio.Most entertaining disco song from my past heard in a queer bar I shouldn’t have been in: “High Energy” by Evelyn Thomas.

Most disturbing realization of the evening: I know the title and artist associated with the aforementioned song.

Second most disturbing revelation of the evening: I purchased the 12-inch in 1984.

Third most disturbing revelation of the evening: I still speak French passably well after a couple of beers.

Biggest disappointment of the night: Putting a boy I rather like into a cab at 8:00 because he started drinking way too early.

Pick of the week

Not to brag or anything, but Bottles is a Yahoo Pick of the Week as of today. I haven’t had one of those since about this time in 1996, when Jonno and I were both featured (which is actually how we “met”)…

I think this year’s annual Memorial Day walk across San Francisco (1999 or 2000 for reference) is officially cancelled. I woke up at 5:00 this morning (after going to bed at midnight) and never quite got back to sleep. Now I just feel like sitting. Or maybe even reclining…

God forbid I should answer some of the email I’ve been ignoring for the past week or so…

Movies

It might make a good litmus test to see how compatible I am with someone else. There are certain movies I can watch over and over again without ever getting tired of them. Taken together, they probably say an awful lot about me, but I’m not really sure what it is.

Anyway, here’s a list of some of my favorites which stand up to repeated viewing:

And a second tier. Think of these as the ones I might watch once a year rather than twice:

Analysis? Think we’re meant to be together? Think Alfred Hitchcock or really desparate characters are over-represented? Think I need to contemporize? Wondering how “The Crow” made the list? Got a list of your own? Post it here or on your own site (and let me know for the obligatory free link)…

Art from 1970

 

Some pictures my mom sent me recently. You can click on them to see bigger versions if you’re really bored. I drew these about a month before my sixth birthday. Hmmm. Old supermarkets and dumpy motels. Funny that my interests haven’t really changed all that much since 1970…

It’s weird the things you notice and remember as a kid. Like the Better Business Bureau sign and the way the letters in neon signs all connected together. And I apparenty had this real obsession with different kinds of doors…

Anyhow, I think I did a pretty good rendering of Belk’s “Big B” for a five-year-old and I like my A&P. Pity I couldn’t quite manage to spell “Woolworth”…

 

New Client Site

This may be a record for me: I set up the hosting and domain name and started working on it for the client on Monday night and it was online, with said domain name resolving correctly, on Thursday morning. If only I were getting, say, one per cent of the sale price…

The Weekend

This is so cool. It’s almost July and it’s raining outside. Those of you who are not familiar with California’s seasonal climates can be excused for not understanding how odd this is, but I’m loving it…

But God forbid there should be thunder or lightning.

High point of the weekend: not getting charged for my taste-free meatballs at dinner Friday night with Dan and Jamie.

Alternate: Simpsons marathon Saturday night.

Low point of the weekend: getting anywhere near Civic Center yesterday even if it was just to catch a bus to the Mission for a burrito.

Alternate: standing in line at my corner store behind six very proud and very chemically-enhanced idiots who couldn’t make a decision or count money if their white tank tops depended on it. But they looked fabulous. Really.

Tedious activity of the weekend: creating many banner ads for TV shows I probably won’t watch.

Alternate: walking to the Mission upon realizing that no bus could cut through all the parade-related traffic.

Rain? OMGWTFLOL

While, as I said, it’s unusual for it to rain in San Francisco this late in June, it’s definitely not so freakish as to justify that red, scrolling “weather alert” which was running on the Weather Channel earlier, warning people to watch out for slick roads, etc.

Jeez. The rainy season ended in April. We’re not so fucking stupid here that we forget how to cope with a SIXTH OF AN INCH of rain after two months, are we?