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The Weekend

This is so cool. It’s almost July and it’s raining outside. Those of you who are not familiar with California’s seasonal climates can be excused for not understanding how odd this is, but I’m loving it…

But God forbid there should be thunder or lightning.

High point of the weekend: not getting charged for my taste-free meatballs at dinner Friday night with Dan and Jamie.

Alternate: Simpsons marathon Saturday night.

Low point of the weekend: getting anywhere near Civic Center yesterday even if it was just to catch a bus to the Mission for a burrito.

Alternate: standing in line at my corner store behind six very proud and very chemically-enhanced idiots who couldn’t make a decision or count money if their white tank tops depended on it. But they looked fabulous. Really.

Tedious activity of the weekend: creating many banner ads for TV shows I probably won’t watch.

Alternate: walking to the Mission upon realizing that no bus could cut through all the parade-related traffic.

Rain? OMGWTFLOL

While, as I said, it’s unusual for it to rain in San Francisco this late in June, it’s definitely not so freakish as to justify that red, scrolling “weather alert” which was running on the Weather Channel earlier, warning people to watch out for slick roads, etc.

Jeez. The rainy season ended in April. We’re not so fucking stupid here that we forget how to cope with a SIXTH OF AN INCH of rain after two months, are we?

Unplanned Road Trip

I left the house at about 11:30 this morning for a quick trip to get cigarettes and lunch. Maybe some groceries too. By the time I got home, ten hours later, I’d been to Saratoga, Scotts Valley, Santa Cruz, Capitola, Watsonville (for the first time), Gilroy, Morgan Hill, and San Jose.

And, now that I think about it, I never did get cigarettes.

Things I may write about later:

  • Assholes on motorcycles (or penis size issues for dummies)
  • I love A&W (or musings on a round, orange fireplace)
  • Los Gatos (or how rich white people turn nice towns into such boring places)

The Hospital Saga

I’m not sure which is scarier: the multi-thousand dollar hospital bill I’m about to owe (as one of the uninsured masses) or the fact that, twice a day for the next week, I have to inject a substance made from the mucous of pig intestines into myself at about $60 a pop. I like pork, but jeez…

This is the story of my unexpected 48-hour trip to the hospital on Monday. I thought I had bronchitis. I was short of breath and coughing. As it turned out, I had an enlarged heart which was beating erratically at two to three times its normal rate and I needed to go the emergency room. Immediately.

I’ve never been admitted to a hospital before, and I have to say that for a first time, California Pacific is a good one. Everyone was really nice and helpful and was always mindful of cost, without sacrificing care. I had one doctor who even offered to waive his fee.

But hospitals suck. The food sucks, the waiting around sucks, and the fact that I came without jammies REALLY sucked. The doctors and nurses were really nice (even if none of them were cute) and the Cartoon Network was available on TV.

I was sedated for one procedure (which involved running a probe down my esophagus) and apparently woke up sobbing uncontrollably, worrying about whether everyone who was supposed to had signed the Declaration of Independence. That was a little creepy…

Final diagnosis: complications from hyperthyroidism. It’s apparently quite treatable (I just paid for $700 worth of drugs to prove it) but it might well have killed me if I hadn’t come in when I did.

Anyone got a couple of thousand bucks lying around that you don’t need?

Even better, anyone got any good stories to take my mind off being confronted with my own mortality?

Priorities

Would I sound like a bitter, sarcastic Socialist if I noted how proud I was to live in a country where it’s a higher priority to make sure that the institution of marriage is protected from abuse by homosexuals (or to ensure the right of large corporations to sue individuals for libel) than to guarantee its citizens universal health care?

Yeah, I guess I would…

Thyroid 101

OK, I promise not to make this into one of those “this is what I learned about my new disease today” websites, but these are the amusing revelations I had while reading about all my current drugs:

  • My only dietary restriction is that I’m specifically NOT supposed to eat any green, leafy vegetables.
  • One potential side effect is persistent, painful erections.
  • Another potential side effect is shortness of breath, the very symptom I was originally being treated for.
  • One pill doesn’t mix well with Acetominophen, while another precludes the use of Aspirin or Ibuprophen. No headaches allowed.

And whycome anyone who has a medical reason to stop smoking (heart trouble, high blood pressure, respiratory problems, etc.) is not really supposed to use the nicotine gum which might help them do so?

All the same, this hyperthyroid diagnosis may well explain my recent oversensitivity to heat, general fatigue, and irritability. But I’m going to try to hang on to the irritability part. It sort of suits me.

Poked and Prodded

I feel like a pin cushion…

Thanks to everyone who’s emailed, called, etc. Things are a little nuts right now, so I haven’t answered everyone. Of course, this whole thing happened just as I was on a couple of big deadlines too, so I’m also playng catch up…

But I’m alive and kicking, if a little groggy from trying to ease myself off both nicotine and caffeine. And I may get to stop injecting porcine intestinal fluid into myself soon. Either way, I’ll stop talking about it before too long…

And have I mentioned how incredibly nice and pleasant everyone at California Pacific Medical Center has been? So much for all those hospital horror stories. Of course, I haven’t gotten the bill yet…

Break?

I’m tired of talking about my current set of maladies, needles, and hospital visits, but still too freaked out by (and obsessed with) the topic to think about much else, so I may take a break from these journal entries for a little while…

Of course, every time I announce I’m taking a break, I start feeling inspired about three hours later…

Randomly Saturday

Some random thoughts for a Saturday afternoon:

  • Any thought or catchphrase which has been expressed as a mass-produced T-shirt or license plate holder is probably no longer sufficiently original to require being expessed any other way. Ever again.
  • Living someplace where you spend a July Saturday afternoon wrapped in a blanket because it’s so cold is a wonderful thing.
  • I sure would like to see some rain.
  • Looks like my hospital bill is going to just about equal the price of the most expensive car I’ve ever owned. Times two.
  • Is Earth, Wind, and Fire still together? They should be.
  • When there’s idiotic driving being done, there’s a far better than average chance that it’s being done in a Volvo.