…and it will all mercifully be over. But it’s gonna be a long forty-eight hours.
This year, I skipped the whole gift shopping nightmare but there’s no escaping the assorted family pressure. Next year, I’m leaving town for the whole week and I don’t really give a damn how it goes over with anyone.
That said, I have gotten a lot done around the house this weekend and I’m otherwise In a pretty pleasant frame of mind. I’m just really not feeling Christmas this year. Aggressively, even…
Thing is…I really mean that.
…the beach in winter when it’s cold and rainy and deserted. And when I can get an oceanfront room with a balcony for less than I’d pay at the average suburban Red Roof Inn. Decorations optional.
I landed on Virginia Beach because I wanted that whole relaxing beach thing but also wanted a city nearby in case I got bored. Got my books, got my provisions from Kroger, and got my favorite traveling companion (that would be me) along for the ride. See you in a few days, if not before.
Random post-pizza thoughts on a freezing cold night at the beach:
Random thought I’ll write about later:
They say the person you spend New Year’s Eve with will be your companion for the following year. If that’s the case, Jack Klugman and I will be together a lot next year. For reference, that doesn’t mean that I’m planning to “go to my reward” but just that I watched a few episodes of The Odd Couple tonight before retiring to the basement to play with my databases.
I’m not really going to reflect on 2012 other than to say that it sucked less than 2011 did and hopefully sucked more than 2013 will. That’s all any of us can really ask for, right?
If the first four days are any indication, this year promises to offer an entirely new definition for the word “suck. And that’s all I can bring myself to say on the subject right now. I’m just going to go bury my head under the covers for the rest of the night, thanks.
Random thoughts as I completely ignore the primary issue in my life tonight (since it causes alternating bouts of tears and anger and I’m just too fucking exhausted for that):
…to my friends, my family, and my coworkers, for helping through a particularly rough patch in my life.
I knew when I moved back to North Carolina that I was only a few years away from a time when I would need to start making difficult decisions about my parents. A few years ago, I assumed that when the first of them approached the end of his or her life, I would have support from a husband and from the surviving parent. Neither of these was to be; I’m no longer “coupled” and my mom is no longer in any condition to support me as I begin the process of letting nature take its course with my dad. This is not what I anticipated three years or even three weeks ago.
For the record, my dad had a fall last week that we now know was accompanied (and perhaps caused) by a heart attack. He had been very independent until this happened, and the suddenness of his decline still has me a little bit in shock. The next few days and weeks will be rough. After all the issues with my mom and everything else over the past two years, I’m already pretty exhausted and emotionally raw coming into this situation.
Don’t believe for a minute, though, that I feel like I’m in it alone. I’ve built a new support network by reconnecting with old friends who have been there for me more often than I’ve returned the favor, by relying on my extended family, and by realizing that I work with perhaps the most thoroughly decent group of people I could ever ask for.
This next chapter won’t be fun and it won’t be pretty but I’ll get through it. I will not, however, resort to using a cliché based on a Beatles song title to finish that sentence. I will also suggest that after the past two years of almost nonstop negatives, I think I’m about due for some exciting and happy news in my life. If anyone can provide that this would be a good time, thanks.
Random thoughts while I have too much time on my hands in the palliative care unit:
