I may or may not be leaving for Canada in the morning, two weeks later than originally planned. Right now it seems “on” but I want one last talk tomorrow morning with one of the people taking care of my mom.

While in some ways I feel like the worst son in the world for leaving while my mom is till in the hospital (nothing life-threatening, just the next stop on the Alzheimer’s bus), I also realize that I can’t stop living my life waiting till she’s “better” because she’s not going to get better. And after the past few very stressful months of family and work, I need very desperately to get away and do something other than work, visit the parents, and collapse on the couch in front of the TV. Her life is not going to be impacted in any significant way by my departure. She may not even notice my absence. And this week is the only time I can really do it. So away I go.

Unless I don’t.

You know what used to be fun?

The old days, back when I used to be allowed to have my own life.

Sorry. Just thinking whining out loud.