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February 2002

Animal “Rights”

“Under the law, animals are treated as property. They have no rights, their value being determined solely by their usefulness for humans.”

What, may I ask, is wrong with this? The writer, who specializes in something called “animal law”, suggests that this is a major weakness in our legal system. I beg to differ. But then again, I also don’t believe that animals have any rights. Nor that they ever can.

Mr. Blatte states that “The civil rights movement overcame oppression based on a difference in skin color. The women’s rights movement overcame oppression based on a difference in gender. With animals, by focusing on species, a difference with no moral significance, we are committing the exact same type of oppression.”

What utter bullshit. Rights are a specifically human innovation. Humans, as a species, have the intellectual capacity to have created them and to understand the implications. And humans are uniquely and exclusively eligible to possess rights. Yes, in this case the ability to express and assert them is required in order to have them.

To suggest that the call for animal rights and equality is on an equivalent moral level to the struggle for women’s right or the civil rights movement is to completely trivialize those important developments in our history. Animals are not the equal of human beings, whether male, female, black, white, brown, heterosexual, or homosexual. Given the slow pace of evolution, it’s highly unlikely that they will be for the next million or so years.

Animals cannot feel oppressed. They can feel pain and hunger and perhaps some level of emotion. But they cannot experience hurt feelings if their human companions consider themselves “pet owners” rather than “animal guardians”. They do not suffer from reduced self-esteem when the legal system is biased against them based on species.

Dogs are no more entitled to jury trials than to job protection nor marriage benefits. Cats have no need nor desire for a Constitutional amendment guaranteeing them full and equal protection under the law. While animals can indeed suffer, they cannot suffer discrimination nor injustice; to do so requires the capacity to understand what discrimination and injustice are.

Animals also do not have the specific “right” to be in any specific space (and this also applies to public spaces where their owners may decide to take them), nor to cause any sort of discomfort, physical harm, or fear to human beings. Owners have certain rights, and are subject to certain limitations and responsibilities. People who don’t want to be around animals also have rights, limitations, and responsibilities. Animals have none of the above and are subject to the exercise of rights by the humans around them.

Again, human beings have rights. And the attendant responsibilities. Animals have neither. The very idea that they would is laughable.

Even animal rights activists agree, although they are reluctant to admit it, that humans are firmly in charge by virtue of evolution, and that animals are subject to our will. Who, after all would be conferring these “rights”? The only real point of contention is how the animals will be TREATED. The idea that animals have “rights” is more about semantics and catchy jargon than any real moral or philosophical issue.

This is not to say that I think it’s open season on our furry little friends. It could be argued that humans have a moral and ethical responsibility to protect animals from undue pain and suffering, just as we have a responsibility not to destroy public property nor to do significant damage to the environment. If we, as human beings, decide that the humane treatment of animals (and even the occasional preference in their favor) is a benefit to society, so much the better.

But none of this is due to any “rights” instrinsically held by animals. Animals have whatever privileges we choose to allow them. Including the right to life. And if there is a conflict between the needs of animals and the needs of humans, humans come first. In all cases. And without the slightest hesitation or resevation.

New York Pizza

No more New York Pizza. An email correspondent today advised me that it burned down on Monday night…

For those of you not in the know (which would be about 98% of you), New York Pizza was probably my favorite drinking establishment in Greensboro. It was a great place: a pizza joint with bar on a corner of Tate Street, UNCG‘s pathetic excuse for a college strip. It was dark and dumpy, it had a great jukebox, the pitchers were cheap, and there was always plenty of greasy stomach padding to be found…

But the best thing about the place was the crowd. It was one of those rare places which small cities seem to generate more readliy than big ones: an all-purpose joint where college kids, trailer trash, musicians, homosexuals, and burnouts sat and drank and talked and smoked. Usually with no problems, and often with a great deal of interaction among the different groups…

It was not a trendy place; in fact, it was little more than a dump, but it was usually a far more pleasant place to be than Greensboro’s dismal, tight-assed, disco queer bars or its assorted fratboy and redneck hangouts. In recent years, it had become the only bar left on Tate Street, not so much through gentrification, but more through the sanitizing influences of the nearby university, the fascist College Hill neighborhood organization, and a higher drinking age…

I’m told they’ll rebuild, but I have my doubts. Even if they do, it won’t be the same…

Randomly Friday

Dinner with Dan at the new In-n-Out Burger, followed by dessert at the semi-new Krispy Kreme. Cheap DVDs at Target and Tower. KBHK has cycled back into older (in other words, good) episodes of The Simpsons. A full Safeway Select Diet Grapefruit Soda in the refrigerator…

How could it get any better?

Oh yeah. I get to leave for Fresno in about thirteen hours to spend a belated Valentine’s Day weekend with Mark. Can’t think of anything I’d rather be doing right now. And I mean right now. Not in seventeen hours…

Tonight’s good mood has caused me to substitute this journal entry for the already-written (but never posted) “PG&E sucks and so does Muni” journal entry. Look for it at a later date, since I don’t envision my distaste for either of these two institutions going away anytime soon…

Home

Home from a slightly-belated Valentine’s Day weekend in Fresno with Mark. It was every bit as romantic and wonderful as I wanted. You know, of course, that I’ve scored the best boy in the world. And for those of you who are totally cheesed out by all MY mushiness lately too, well, tough. It’s probably gonna get worse…

But not tonight. There’s nothing but sleep in my immediate future. Especially since I left my toothbrush at Mark’s and don’t much feel like going to the all-night Walgreen’s at this point…

I feel a spurt of updates coming tomorrow (later today?) for the holiday, but I ain’t promising…

Idiot du Jour

Sometimes you get email which is so ludicously idiotic that it would just be wrong somehow not to share it.

Background: I got a message this afternoon at Planet SOMA from someone wanting to sell me live video streams of my “club”. Keep in mind that this guy had to navigate through my contact page in order to send it out, and still managed not to figure out or care that (a) I’m not a “club”, and (b) I eat spammers and other idiots for breakfast if I’m in a suitably playful mood…

So I sent a slightly sarcastic note via my disposable Yahoo account, and informed him that anyone who billed himself a “web developer” should probably have the good sense and attention to detail to realize he was mailing his message to an individual and not a nightclub. And that anyone who spoke English (as he presumably did) would have seen the multiple spam notices as well…

So he wrote back with one of the most classic lines I’ve read this week: “why are you listed as a club on yahoo if you’re not a club?”

That explains it. My site comes up when you do a search on “clubs”. Therefore I must be one, right? He essentially told me that, since Yahoo “said” I was a club, I was one (whether or not I believed it or had been notified of my new career). Web developer my ass. I wouldn’t hire this guy to do yard maintenance. Oooh. Just what I need: a web developer who doesn’t even know how a search engine works…

All the same, I’d have just let it drop if he’d just said “I screwed up and I’m sorry”. But no. He had to be an active, aggressive idiot. Which has qualified Erik the webmaster for my semi-dormant “idiot of the month” award…

Anyway, Sarah’s back online, Becky’s happy again, Mark’s done some spiffy re-tooling, I got a lot of work done today, and electric blue squeezable Parkay was on sale at Safeway tonight. Life is good, all in all…

The “Bear” Thing

As luck would have it, I managed to flee the city for Bear Rendezvous weekend and not even realize I’d been smart enough to do so…

This is one of those four annual events where it’s usually much more pleasant just to leave town for the weekend, the others being Pride Week (month? eternity?) and the Dore Alley and Folsom Street Fairs. Nothing per se against that whole “bear thing”, but it seems to me it’s just another way of defining oneself based on sexual orientation rather than on any actual personality traits…

And, contrary to popular opinion, it’s no less contrived than the leather scene, the circuit scene, the pageant scene, and all those other assorted scenes I find a little tedious. To paraphrase the immortal words of Lisa Simpson, all those big trucks and big bellies are very daring and rebellious. In a conformist sort of way…

Nothing against big bellies either, by the way, as I possess a substantial one myself, sculpted through rigorous training with Funyuns, miscellaneous pork products, and Krispy Kreme doughnuts. It’s nice that us big fat hairy guys can find love too, and yes, people gravitate toward what interests them sexually. But is it really necessary to pretend that a “community” exists because of it?

Remember when the fabled path to enlightenment used to be about “finding oneself” rather than about “finding one’s community”? Those of us in the fast-growing contrarian individualist community do. And we’re gonna have us a rally soon, dammit…

Blehhh

Ever have one of those stretches where you feel just sort of generally crappy for a couple of weeks and you’re not sure why? Like you’re threatening to come down with some sort of bug or something, but it never really happens? I’m having one of those; I’m sort of tired and cranky and lethargic, and not feeling at all creative…

Maybe it will improve when Mark arrives tomorrow night; he has that effect on me. I just hope he doesn’t run away from me screaming in terror before this effect kicks in…

I think what’s called for now, though, is ice cream. And maybe something in a Walt Disney movie. For some reason, I’m craving Bedknobs and Broomsticks tonight…

Five Years

I missed it. Yesterday was the five-year anniversary of the relationship between me and my current vehicle. It’s been a good car; it’s taken me cross-country a couple of times, not to mention on numerous other road trips, especially in the past few months. And it’s coped well with life in the hostile environs of San Francisco, where I’m regarded as subhuman by some just for owning it…

Here’s to five more years with my indestructible Corolla. Given my heavily-mortgaged heart and thyroid, it may HAVE to be five more years…

As much as I believe that “warm and sunny” is an overrated weather pattern, it sure is nice to have the windows open so I can air out the house today. Looks like a good weekend for Mark‘s visit. Maybe we’ll have to shag out on the deck…

Sunday Night

I hate Sunday nights. Just when I’m getting used to being curled up, comfy, and cozy from the weekend, I don’t get to be anymore. It’s right about now that those 189 miles seem like about a million…

But now I’m sort of grinning. And sort of tired. And sort of pondering putting that extra blanket on the bed to compensate over the next twelve days…

 

It was a good weekend: pizza and Quiz Show with Mark, Dan, and Jamie on Friday night; record stores, subways, Escape from New York, and Ethiopian food with Mark on Saturday; and the post Chinese New Year street festival in Chinatown today. And then there was this morning’s blue breakfast, but that’s a story for another time when there are pictures…

Wow. Tad’s has a website now. Cool. And it’s less than six months ’til this year’s birthday bash. Mark your calendars…