Journals : 1985 : Part 2
The Soundtrack:
Bronski Beat, Art of Noise, Red Hot Chili Peppers, REM, Other Bright Colors, Ten Ten, Talk Talk, Tears for Fears, Thompson Twins, OMD, ABC, Til Tuesday.
6 March 1985:
Unusual and occasionally scary night...said night involved a gorgeous 16-year-old named Darrell...and Cliff (Fenders, etc.)
Ran into this adorable boy, Darrell. We had done the bathroom scene about two years ago and I remembered...we talked (he goes to Smith and likes the Music 106) and kissed. I was going crazy and dying to take him away and do things right, but he couldn't go. He did, however, give me his phone number and I gave him mine...
Now it gets weird. I went to Secret Garden and who was there but Cliff? So what happened upon our first encounter? He put his arm around me and kissed me...We got drunk (understatement of the year) and at one point he said to me quite plainly "What do you say to me trying to pick you up tonight?"...Weird...He's getting married soon; he already has a child. Fine. later on he said he'd been dying to sleep with me all summer...Cliff drove to Sarah's...On the way up, I managed to lose the keys...I was a mess...Cliff passed out on the floor...Finally I found my keys and started feeling safer...I left a note and went home I have no earthly idea what's become of Cliff...
Pete's moving in with his sister.
7 March 1985:
Darrell and I talked last night at some length...why don't I feel bad about "corrupting" this boy? Because I remember the age well...Still haven't heard from Cliff... (Saw him and his wife by accident about six years later. He looked horrified...)
We talked more today. He's really a great guy, and sophisticated beyond his years...He said he read me for some reason as someone heavily into drugs and partying...HE called ME today, just as promised. It convinced me the interest isn't one-sided...This is definitely a bit strange. i talked to Duncan about it tonight; he was sympathetic. I couldn't tell if his morals were offended...Jeff, of course, is screaming.
8 March 1985:
Darrell and I got to see each other for a few minutes...no sex or anything, but we did suck face and get real hard and hot and bothered for a while...
And last night at the bar, the streak continued...I found this flawless boy staring at my crotch...Time came to go home. I was driving Duncan and Scott. He was driving some girl...Heavy stares on the way out...We noticed we were being followed...I led them to Little General and walked in. The girl followed. "There's a guy out in the car who's infatuated with you."...We all talked for a while. His name is Randy...We exchanged phone numbers, vowing to get together very soon.
10 March 1985:
Randy and I had our first date tonight: Battleground Park. We walked around on trails and ended up in a secluded fort/sliding board contraption making out under the trees and the stars in the cold.
13 March 1985:
I've lost a lot of that romantic edge I used to have. It flew out the window with Pete. I'm lying to Darrell and Randy, and even with the two of them, I'm still looking around...I seem to have a habit of only really falling for the ones I can't have...It really gets harder and harder for me to deal with Pete...I'm realizing that I'll never see him as "just a friend".
24 March 1985:
Saturday, Randy and I met at Carolina Circle. I realized that we have absolutely nothing in common.
25 March 1985:
Tonight Darrell and I terminated our involvement...He's getting back together with Michael, so he says...He says he wants to "start over" with his own age range. Probably a very wise decision...
29 March 1985:
I avoided Randy for most of the night; it was obvious...Todd was drunk and flirty toward me the whole night...On top of this, Pete was after Todd. This caused a degree of tension and "competition" which I didn't like one bit. Jeff was being wonderful and helpful, trying to get Todd off my back and he helped out with Randy too...As I was getting slung up with some other guy named George, Pete was protesting to Jeff.
Jeff to Pete: "If you were just his 'friend', like I am, it wouldn't bother you. It doesn't bother me..."
Pete: "I don't know what you mean."
Jeff: "You know EXACTLY what I mean."
31 March 1985:
Party in High Point Friday: Pete at some point mentioned something about all the "bottom men" having blue cups. "I'm versatile," he said. I looked him straight in the eye and said "I remember."...
Jeff's friend Art had come up from Raleigh for the party; somehow we started getting friendlier and friendlier...I really got into finally getting a chance to talk to him...address and phone number, etc. I mentioned that I'd been threatening to move to Raleigh for some time; he talked about us possibly moving in together.. He invited me to come down and see Ten Ten at the Brewery Saturday night....I promised...I knew he wouldn't believe me or expect me to show up...
Saturday I broke up with Randy...I then set about finding a way to Raleigh. Sarah and Janie and I pled in Gumby around 7:15...Upon the conclusion of the last song, art walked in. we never left each other's side the rest of the night...After the Brewery...the Breakfast House...Alligator. Art and I decided we needed to eat this...so we shared an order of alligator and a salad...Art is such a great guy. He's so sincere and so much fun...so real...He invited us over (Sarah and Janie being part of the package, alas), but we had to get back...We parted.
9 April 1985:
I just had phone sex with Darrell...Saturday night I ended up with Joel's brother Bill...we sucked face for 15 or 20 minutes and went home...I'm glad something finally happened...Sunday I met an incredibly cute 17-year-old named Chris at Hell House; he seemed to like me a lot...Jeff called about 3:30 today to inform me that we have a date with Chris.
10 April 1985:
The night turned out to be ME and Chris; we had a date this afternoon...Chris gave me a letter he'd written to me in school today which began "hey cutie". It was fairly standard "prelude to a high school crush" kind of thing...We went back to Chris' house...I knew that something was finally about to happen...I think he's into a puppy love thing, though. He wants me to settle down and have a romance, which I'm not really into just now.
16 April 1985:
Since last I wrote, Chris and I have had a grief romance and have split up...Thursday, we went to the grand opening of Busby's, Greensboro's brand new gay bar...and Chris' first and I was the first guy he'd ever kissed in public...
Who should show up but Joel and Bill...Bill, who's been asking about me and who was only there because he knew I'd be there...I told him I'd talk to him later that night and assured him he'd have a way home...I spent an hour on the patio with Bill, discussing our situations. No conclusions, except mutual attraction and a mutual reluctance to get involved (I sense I was more reluctant). We rode home together and edged our way from heavy-duty make-out to minor league sex before finishing.
Saturday...Trying, exhausting night. Two husbands (Chris and Bill) in the bar and cruising a third with ex (Randy) watching it all...Around 2, I was exhausted and went home. During all this time, downtown Greensboro had been on fire. I didn't even know it until Sunday morning...
Monday, I applied for a full-time sales position at Texas Jeans. Jeff says prospects look good.
19 April 1985:
Art's visit on Wednesday ended up with him and Pete fucking, but I'm not supposed to know this. He told Duncan. Duncan told me.
22 April 1985:
Jeff turns 26...Something that's really getting to me right now: I seem to be the new object of every drag queen's affections.
26 April 1985:
Interviewed for the position of Assistant manager at Texas Jeans Tuesday...Looks promising. (Show I did at WUAG that night turned out to be my last ever.)