i’ve been thinking about instituting a feature here to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the website, in which I would link back to favorite posts from the past two decades. I was even thinking of developing my own Twitter hashtag and encouraging my seven readers to post their own favorites. But every time I get ready to start, it seems a little pretentious and self-involved so I stopped myself.

That said, last week’s backtrack inspired me, so here’s another one.

I think this post, of which I was reminded when a friend posted this on Facebook,  still holds up pretty well too. I do like that the author of the Guardian piece stated specifically that “it certainly isn’t positioning monogamous people as more blindly traditional or less emotionally evolved than you.” That’s always been one of the things that irritated me most about proponents of polyamory, in much the same way that it galls me when anyone has the audacity to try to create universally applicable rules or definitions for any relationships other than their own.

I really don’t think this requires a hashtag, though I do have another social media-inspired backtrack post in mind about how not liking “gay events” does not necessarily equate to “internalized homophobia.” But I don’t have the attention span for that tonight. Besides, my traditional Sunday night soup was extra good. I used Italian sausage. I may have to have more now.

Deep into my tenure portfolio this week. The first draft is due in just a few days.

Actually, it’s a really good way of reflecting on just how much I’ve accomplished in the past five years. I’ve been much busier than it sometimes seemed, and I’ve actually completed a pretty impressive body of work.

In fact, it was work that got me through the dark times a few years back when I felt like the whole world was collapsing around me. It gave me a goal–something to work toward–and it made the days seem not quite so pointless. When you’re already depressed and suddenly a lot of really crappy things happen, it’s easy for days to start seeming pointless.

Work gave me something I felt like I could control, and that’s something I really needed at that point. A lot of other situations at the same time in my life had left me feeling like I wasn’t in charge of my own destiny, which is pretty fucking unpleasant, especially when you’re a control freak by nature.

Anyway, that whole desire to excel at something (or at least to control something) turned out to be a really good thing career-wise. it’s hard to believe I’ve been at this for more than five years. And I still think “tenured university faculty” is about the last thing anybody expected from me ten or fifteen years ago. But it just may happen now, assuming I can complete a lot of paperwork successfully, document everything I’ve done sufficiently, and convince the powers that be that they should keep me forever rather than can me.

Should be an interesting six months or so, anyhow. I’ll keep you posted.

At the close of a busy week:

• Therapy session on Wednesday where I discussed conflicts I’m experiencing over sex. No Freudian clichés there, eh?
• With April comes the real beginning of the intense phase of my march toward tenure. It’s going to be a long six months. Interestingly enough, I had one or two of those “I’m not a fraud. I really legitimately deserve to be considered a professional in my field” moments this week. Those are nice.
• Listening to the last day of live DJs on CBC Radio 3 yesterday made me sad. I’m not pleased about the changes. I don’t think anyone is.
• Continuing to ponder whether Los Angeles or Seattle would be a better post-conference antidote to my required visit to the Bay Area. Suggestions welcome.
• Still waiting for the teabaggers to launch that Ted Cruz birther movement.
• Still waiting…

Therapy session today, one of the topics of which was conflict over sex. No Freudian cliché there, huh?

Actually–and I promise not to lapse into David’s Therapy Blog mode here–life is dramatically more agreeable for me than it was two years ago. There was even a discussion of working my way off the antidepressants. I was never a really heavy dose anyway so it might not be such a big deal, but the potential for upsetting that delicate balance still makes me a little nervous.

The big goals for me over the past couple of years have been:

• Concentrating on things that make me happy
• Eliminating or minimizing things that make me unhappy (assuming they can be eliminated or minimized without jeopardizing my health or credit rating)
• Prioritizing adventures and experiences over acquiring stuff (books and the occasional DVD excepted)
• Counteracting my natural tendency to isolate myself

It seems to be working. Mind you, I’m still completely batshit crazy–which is good since I want to be able to use mental health (or lack thereof) as a defense strategy in court at some point in the future should the need arise. But at least I know how to deal with the crazy now and it’s not so overpowering or debilitating.

Now if I could just get rid of some of the weight I’ve put back on since I started enjoying things (specifically eating) so much again…

I had my annual checkup at the oncologist’s yesterday and all was well with the world. After next year, the tenth anniversary of my original diagnosis, I apparently get to stop coming back for these annual visits, which are kind of expensive because for some reason my insurance treats them as outpatient hospital admissions rather than as the 30-minute doctor’s appointments (with labs) that they actually are.

I have avoided writing a lot about this subject, maybe because I didn’t feel like I “deserved” to since my experience was not nearly as gruesome as some people’s are. But once you’ve had that diagnosis, it does make things a little different for the rest of your life. It also makes you a little paranoid. I’m a little less so today.