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The biggest barrier I’ve had to cross in my parents’ house has been getting it restored to my own standard of cleanliness and order. It may shock anyone who’s known me for a long time to learn that I’ve become something of a neat freak the past few years–a rather neat and tidy housekeeper. I have some thoughts about the psychological basis as to how and when this drastic shift occurred, most of which have to do with my need to find some aspect of my life over which I could have complete control at a time when I felt like I was starting to lose it, but I’ll skip all that for now and say that it’s been hard getting the house to that point but I’m beginning to see the light.

There’s still a fair amount of stuff I need to get rid of here before I start moving some of my own stuff in, but I’m spending three or four nights a week here now and it’s not altogether uncomfortable. I’m seeing less of my dad lying on the floor back in January or my mom being completely paranoid and hysterical the year before, and more of where my books and toys and things might look good. Getting my own furniture in here will be a big help but that will probably have to wait until I sell my current house.

After the jump, see where I am so far. 

I wonder if this stuff is worth anything…

I have been living back on the correct into the country for almost eight years now. Why have I not spent more of that time in New York?

Having a lovely time.

Glad to have old friends who have grown up but haven’t gotten old and boring.

Completely appalled at $13 bridge tolls.

Still loving Jersey diners.

Going to bed now.

Updates and such:

Still pondering the ultimate first world problem of which of my two houses to live in. I’ve pretty much settled on moving into my parents’ former house and putting mine on the market. But I’ll be doing this after some significant work on Mom and Dad’s place. I’m definitely not one of those HGTV zombies who’s incapable of uttering any phrase other than “granite countertops and stainless steel appliances” over and over again, but  some kitchen renovations really are called for here. I do require at a minimum, for example, that all the appliances work and that the cabinets and counters not be coming apart. Frankly, there was some serious deferred maintenance there. Plus it’s extremely important for me to make the place my own if I’m going to live there–something of a fresh start after the past few years of associating the place with illness and death.

But I’m really going to miss my house in Winston-Salem. Despite the fact that it has caused “issues” for me, I love the place. I love the neighborhood. I just hate the commute. And not having a mortgage payment will be kind of nice too, assuming my house sells soon.

As such, I’m cleaning out Mom and dad’s house now. Unless you’ve dealt with someone who’s a borderline hoarder and also develops dementia, you cannot imagine what I’m facing in the process. There was an almost unfathomable amount of stuff crammed into that house, all of it completely disordered. In one box, I might find clothes, food wrappers, bills, photos from 1942, jewelery, cash, and used Kleenex. I have to look inside every box and pocket before discarding something. The most heartbreaking things, though, are the notes I find in my mom’s handwriting dating from the last few months she was at home. They’re sometimes indecipherable but generally seem to be attempts to jog her memory as to what that checking account statement actually was–or warnings to anyone who found the manual for her TV remote that it was personal and confidential and they should leave it alone. Alzheimer’s is an evil, nasty thing, in case you were wondering.

So my next few months will involve lawyers and contractors and lots of trips to Lowes and contemplating things like getting rid of the cable and hooking up to gray-market Canadian satellite TV instead (different story altogether…we’ll talk later). I’m not handy around the house. These will by and large not be DIY projects; they’re going to be done right so I can sell the place when the time comes.

Speaking of satellites, I’m loving SiriusXM. Inpsired by friend Duncan, I checked in to see if I could get a new free trial period on the two newer cars I now own. I was able to, but they only gave me two months. I think I’m already hooked, though. Between the 1940s channel and the “college radio” channel and the two very wonderful francophone pop/rock channels from Canada, it’s all rather compelling for some who like radio as I do. The iPod/iPhone is a nice route but sometimes I need the element of surprise that you only get from radio. It’s sort of a necessity for me. I think it will be quite lovely on roadtrips.

More quickies:

• Buying clothes because you’ve lost lots of weight and six inches of waist size is more fun than buying clothes because you’re getting fatter. It’s cheaper too.
• Still fidgeting with this new WordPress template. It has lots of options. I’m not sure how many of them I really care about.
• Applied for a job in San Diego this week. I love my job (though I’m a little stressed at it right now) and I probably wouldn’t take it if offered, but you have to do things like that once in a while just to see what happens. I will say that San Diego is the only place in California I’d so much as even consider moving to.
• Pondering travel options for this year’s big road trip(s). In addition to my annual Toronto pilgrimage, I’m considering Chicago and Minneapolis (and a quick circuit through the Dakotas to add those two states to my “completed” list), Seattle and Vancouver (with a Montana-Idaho chaser to take care of those two states as briefly as possible), and a twenty-fifth anniversary repeat of my 1988 birthday trip to New York and Boston (maybe adding Maine, New Hampshire, and Vermont to the list). I’m not really considering Alaska, which is the only other state left. Feedback welcome.