Tonight at dinner, a friend and coworker was asking me if I thought I’d ever get married again. I replied, as you might imagine, that I could scarcely imagine anything more unlikely. But I may have changed my mind. I think I’m ready to engage in a long-term relationship with the shower head in my hotel room. It’s quite wonderful. It’s not a sex thing, but damn…

That said, the “massaging soap” is really creeping me the fuck out.