A note to my very sweet (but slightly overachieving) neighbors:

Please note that the assorted crabgrass and weeds have now been trimmed to a more manageable height. I realize the yard isn’t likely to impress you–or hell, even to placate you–but I hope you at least appreciate the gesture on my part. I even swept some of my trimmings off the street and disposed of that pile of leaves by the garage.

That said, please don’t look on this as a sign that I will be spending the rest of my weekends this spring and summer vacuuming the grass and steam-cleaning the driveway, as you apparently do, nor do I need a suggestion about which specific Disney animators you hire to make sure you have only the most attractive birds in your trees. Priorities, you know? I’m not a yard person, and this is the best I can am willing to do.

Thank you,
David

Ever re-read something you’ve posted and realized it didn’t come across at all as you’d intended? Yeah, me too. More than usual lately, as it happens.

The Church
Under the Milky Way (1988)