Another hiker has fallen off the side of another mountain where he probably shouldn’t have been to begin with. And thousands of dollars being spent (and several lives are being risked) so that some other idiot can feel safe taking up the same hobby…

And, of course, there’s continuous live coverage on the news since absolutely nothing else happened anywhere in the world today…

It’s comforting to know that some things never change. The fried squash at Gus’ Sir Beef is the best you or I will probably ever eat. Independence Boulevard at 5:30 PM is still a raging nightmare. And Representative Sue Myrick is still the same simple-minded reactionary (and crass political opportunist) she was twenty years ago when she was still just plain Mayor Sue Myrick…

Her new “10K Run for the Border Act” (I’m not making that up, I swear…) would dig down to the root cause of a Gastonia teacher’s recent death at the hands of a drunk driver: illegal immigration. Not lax DWI enforcement within her home state, mind you, but illegal immigration. Thus, Scott Gardner was killed not so much by a drunk driver, but by a filthy, illegal Mexican immigrant…

Per the Charlotte Observer: “No more excuses,” she said at a news conference. “You’re drunk. You’re driving. You’re illegal. You’re deported. Period.”

Representative Myrick offered no suggestions as to what we might do with repeat DWI offenders who aren’t illegal immigrants. Presumably, I guess we should consider electing them vice-president or something like that. But it’s ultimately of little consequence; DWI is not really the issue. Any moron can see that. Sue Myrick certainly does…

Ah, that wacky Fred Phelps. As I’ve said before, I really appreciate all the work he’s done to advance The Homosexual Agenda since we put him on the payroll. Discrediting all the fundamentalist nutjobs by having him pose as one and then go completely off the deep end was a stroke of pure genius…