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May 2003

About Jury Duty

So the jury thing is over, the rest of the jury more or less agreed with me, and I don’t have to walk to Civic Center early in the morning anymore. And just to make life that much more pleasant, it’s raining out. This whole late spring series of storms has me all squishy-happy…

Anyway, some notes on jury duty:

I arrived at 10:15 on Wednesday and immediately spotted Larry-bob and a nice guy named Smurf, about whom I can tell you little more except that he’s a DJ and an obscure music buff, which I find to be admirable qualities…

We watched the orientation video, which told us how beautiful California is and how wonderful and emotional we’d find jury service. “Many jurors even keep in touch after the trial is over,” it stated proudly. Funny, I’d never thought of jury duty as the cool new way to make social contacts…

I was called upstairs for jury selection pretty quickly. Mercifully, it was to be a very short trial, only two or three days. I was on my best behavior lest I be excused and assigned to a nastier one. It took a couple of hours to get twelve jurors and one alternate seated. Fortunately, the flakes and other people with whom I dreaded serving were all eliminated…

The first two to go were the two who apparently couldn’t understand a single question asked of them and needed every one repeated. One seemed hard of hearing and the other evidently had, at best, a tenuous grasp on the English language. I sort of wondered why neither one had checked his respective little box on the questionnaire, which would have saved him (and the rest of us) considerable time. Another guy was eliminated because — although he seemed like a very nice guy — he just wasn’t terribly bright…

And then there was the “issues” guy. You know the type, especially if you live in the Bay Area. He was the quintessential San Francisco granola neurotic, the sort of individual who has to spend fifteen minutes pondering the metaphysical implications of such probing questions as “what is your name?” and “what is your spouse’s occupation?”. This guy was a pure 100% flake, a basket case, and he went on and on about his wife’s illness, his job difficulties, and a litany of other issues which had nothing to do with the (very simple and straightforward) questions being asked. Note that this was very obviously NOT a performance to get him excused from service. The thought of watching this guy try to make a decision about a case (or even of being in a closed room with him for a couple of hours) horrified me. Fortunately, I was spared the nightmare…

The trial was uneventful, if odd, and it centered around a semi-violent 1998 encounter between a postal worker and one of her customers. I didn’t find either account particularly believable, and (as it happened) neither did my fellow jurors. Since the burdern of proof was on the plaintiff, we found for the defendant. That’s a bit of an oversimplification, but you get the picture…

I was rather impressed to see that most of my fellow jurors were more or less rational and reasonable individuals. I’d really feared being part of a San Francisco jury, assuming that the native silliness so common in this area would surface, but it never really did. We went about our business and handled things quickly and efficiently (but also with sufficient attention to detail)…

All in all, it really wasn’t bad, although I’m not itching to do it again anytime soon nor to have cocktails and quality time with my former colleagues…

Accontants and Me

I thought I’d suddenly become wildly popular, what with the thousands of extra hits on my About Me page, until I realized that they all seemed to be coming from some sort of spider at an IP address associated with Deloitte & Touche. At least I assume it’s a spider; I can’t imagine six or seven hundred accountants per day being all THAT fascinated by my life…

If I’m lucky, there’s only one more day of jury duty in my future…

Rights

One of the primary thrusts of my social philosophy is that individuals have the right to do almost anything they choose so long as it does not cause damage to other people who are excercising the same right. However, there is a disclaimer involved: Just because someone has the RIGHT to do something does not necessarily mean that he SHOULD do it nor does it suggest that he is free from any ramificantions which might arise from doing so.

For example, people have the right to accost complete strangers in the street and nag them about smoking. However, these same indivuduals must realize that doing so might not produce the exact result (“You’re so right. I’m giving up the habit right now on your recommendation. Thank you so very much.”) that they’d anticipated.

Activity Performed Potential Consequence

Jury-Rigged

One of my fellow jurors today adopted a rather dejected look and whined about how none of us seemed to want to go to lunch together because, he presumed, we wouldn’t have anything to talk about but the case, which was off-limits…

Well, duh. This is not a team-building exercise. We DON’T have anything in common but the case. I’m sure all my fellow jurors are very nice people, but the idea that I should have lunch with one or two of them never once crossed my mind. I don’t know these people. And I don’t particularly want to know any more about them than the situation requires…

Are there really individuals who are so socially dependent that they feel slighted if they have to complete the simplest task — say, going somewhere to get a sandwich — all alone? Jeez…

Completely unrelated Fran Lebovitz quote du jour: “Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke”…