Sleeping continued on until 1PM or so, at which time Jeff was introduced to the joys of real Mexican food in the Mission. A little thrift shopping followed, and then there was Baskin Robbins, a drive through the hills, and a trip to one severely foggy Ocean Beach. Dan and Jeff went to dinner at Tad’s Steaks while David stayed home and wrote HTML. David had arranged a late date in an alley at 2AM (it was well worth the wait). Jeff hit the local bars, occsionally bumping into David and the date. After a couple of beers at home, Jeff hit Blow Buddies (final score 12 encounters) and David planned a last-minute birthday bash.

  

For my 32nd bithday weekend, I was treated to a visit by one of my best friends on the planet, Jeff Rainey from Greensboro.

Jeff showed up at a little after 2PM, on the only USAir flight in history ever to arrive early. There was shopping and boy-watching in Union Square, followed by afternoon nap time. The evening was filled with David’s excursion to the laundromat (Mr. Excitement strikes again!). Then off to the bars of Planet SOMA, where Jeff was introduced to all of David’s freak friends, and was treated to a bit of anonymous oral sex in the back of My Place. In the end, Jeff slept, and David and Tony didn’t (much).

Without question, this is the best of San Francisco’s queer-oriented street fairs. Smaller, more intimate, and just generally more of a queer bent, the Dore Alley fair is a pretty well-kept mid-summer secret. Not to say the crowd was not large, mind you. I just find it to be a more fun crowd…fewer gawkers, etc. It’s a very sociable and friendly gathering; I was amazed what a large percentage of the people there I knew (either as friends, sex objects, or both…).

There was actually very little formal entertainment (bands, etc.) but this really didn’t seem to matter. People-watching, cruising, and “hanging out” were pretty entertaining by themselves. And the flocks of crowds at My Place and Hole in the Wall afterward were great; the “geek factor” was minimized as was the proportion of slumming trendoids and tweaker club kids.The patio at My Place made one of its rare appearances and was full of…well…nasty happenings. Your host was pleased to be able to take advantage of a friend’s slave boy near the front bar as well as a very nice boy in a kilt (not the one pictured below).

         
                  

Queers from all over the world visit San Francisco to experience a place where they can be (if only temporarily) honest and open about their sexuality. I remember being really thrilled the first time I walked through the Castro and saw the parade of fags, holding hands, kissing in public, in short, “flaunting” their sexulaity in ways that heterosexuals do and take for granted every single day.

There’s sort of an art to living in — or visiting — San Francisco to reach one’s maximum queer potential. There’s a place for everyone here; non-conformity is the norm, so you most likely will meet someone who shared your interests in some way, no matter how offbeat.

A few rules to live by:

In San Francisco, as in other major cities, there is a distinction between gay bars and gay clubs. Bars generally do not charge a cover and do not permit dancing. Clubs charge ridiculous covers, and outrageous drink prices, but if you wanna dance, you cope.

There are a few specific gay neighborhoods. South of Market (a/k/a Planet SOMA) may be the most diverse in terms of bar/club crowds. It’s definitely my favorite; I rarely venture anywhere else. The Castro has become more of a commercialized retail strip in recent years, a sort of Gay Dineyland (picture “Main Street USA”) aimed at tourists, but it’s worth a brief visit. Polk Street is definitely interesting if a bit scary on occasion.

Just because people are gay doesn’t mean they’re nice. Sorry, but it’s true. San Francisco is a big city and the gay population has its share of freaks. BE CAREFUL! There is a major substance abuse problem here (specifically that means speed and variants) which make some people downright mean and untrustworthy. Cruising can be dangerous: know your surroundings and remember that bringing a friend along is safer and can lead to interesting group gropes.

Safer sex is your responsibility. Many people here avoid it these days, whether it’s due to a sense of hopelessness or (more likely) the subsatnce abuse problems mentioned above. INSIST ON IT! It is estimated that upto half (or more) of all gay men in San Francisco are HIV-positive. Remember your odds (and don’t add to the poz population).

Drinking and driving is a really STUPID thing to do here, especially given the fact that you’re only about six bucks from anywhere by cab or twenty minutes on foot.

Yuppie career networking is frowned upon in pickup bars. Your job is not your life. Take a break from it when you go out.

In sex clubs and other places, NO MEANS NO. Be aggressive, but do not be pushy or continue pursuing a trick which just ain’t gonna happen.

The service areas in bars are for people buying drinks, not for socializing. Blocking them will get you a hard shove in most South of Market bars.

Bars have to stop serving and kick you out at 2AM; do not give the staff a hard time. The sidewalk in front will be more interesting than staying inside anyway.

[Recreated from my earliest surviving site archive.]